This was my first Christmas. Okay, not my first day to celebrate Christmas, but my first day to really get Christmas for what it really is. I feel such joy that I feel as if I might explode. I want to dance in the snow. I want to shout at the top of my lungs. I have been richly spoiled this Christmas. I do not deserve it. I am so very thankful.
Last night, we took our children out to dinner. We took ALL of our children out to dinner. It was not perfect. It was even awkward at times. But, it was an opportunity to really see what God has been doing while we have been sitting in the dark. We have been swinging between peaceful and frantic. We have been stripped down. We have had to give up our child to get a chance to get him back. But, last night, I saw him. I saw my real, authentic, clean, healthy, clear headed son. He is even clearer than he was right after rehab. I saw potential. I saw possibilities. I saw a young man instead of a compromised boy. I saw hope.
It is not a done deal. All is not safe, I know. But, I see the handiwork of God. I see miracles that I didn't even fathom. It could be fearful to think of losing this again. I am not afraid today. Today, I am appreciating this gift. You see, when my son left, I expected the worse. Because, that is what I got when I was handling it on my own. But, now he is in the hands of God and the beauty that comes from that touch was reflected last night. It lit the room. It has my heart ablaze with joy.
I got other gifts too. I have this amazing circle of earthly angels praying for us, all of the time. I am the richest person in town. It is so amazing to me that when you change your focus from things of this earth to things of God, how you can truly feel joy. It makes you want less material things because the "high" of receiving the gifts from God is unlike anything...ever!!!
Today my prayers are of Thanksgiving. I am thankful to see that my son is still there. I am thankful that there is hope. I am so thankful for my friends and family...my earthly angels. I pray for strength to continue this long journey. I pray to keep my eyes lifted up. I pray for all of you, for health, happiness and strength to do what God has in store for you. And, as always, a prayer for Henry. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.