My son has started going to mass. Sometimes, he has to walk one and a half miles to the nearest bus stop in cold temperatures to catch the bus. This morning, he paid a friend gas money to take him to the 7 am mass at our local cathedral. After mass, he went to our catholic book store just down the street and purchased Matt Talbot holy cards and a crucifix, St. Rita and St Maximillan Kolbe medals and a chain.
His great and urgent desire is to come into the church.......Yesterday! This is an answered prayer. So, why do I fear this.......miracle? Why is it that I prayed fully believing in the possibility of this very thing only to see the possible pitfalls and visions of the past?
I am Peter. I keep looking down. I keep forgetting the possibilities when our Lord steps in that just aren't available without Him. And so, I am allowing "other voices" to influence seeing this happy time of prayer come to fruition.
When he went to the bookstore, he told the lady checking him out that he lived in a half way house and she gave him a prayer card.....one that I imagine they frequently give out to the homeless and others less fortunate. It really touched a soft spot in my heart, for many reasons.
One, I know that owner of the book store. She has a really large section on addiction and she has strategically placed it in a place where those who need to be there have a little privacy. She doesn't know my son, but my son received the fruit of her works of mercy and I am humbled.
Secondly, this is the first time that I have ever heard of him showing raw and honest humility. This shows me real healing. It really does take an honest spiritual awakening to put away pride and have the joy that comes from realizing that God is with you.....even here.....even at the bottom.
I am so proud of him. He's digging up and out. Slowly and taking a lot of steps that are humbling ones. Sometimes, I look at what he is doing and I think of the fact that this is so far out of the realm of anything I had ever imagined for him, and yet I am amazed.
And so, when he said, "Mom, I just really want to take the body of Christ, when I am at mass." I pinched myself, and called my best friend in disbelief, making sure that I hadn't been punked or delirious.
Today, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for miracles. I ask for an increase of faith. I pray for my son and yours and for Henry.