Friday, November 2, 2012

The Communion of Saints

Fourteen years ago yesterday(All Saints Day), my sweet mother died.  Four years later, my Dad joined her.  Since then we've lost my husband's mother, a very sweet aunt and the last surviving Heaton male of my father's generation. 

Sometimes it seems as if there is just too much loss.  Last night we went to mass for All Saints Day (a holy day of obligation).  My husband had given money in remembrance of All Souls Day (today) for my parents and his mother.  Each name was carefully printed on the outside of the envelope.  He handed it to me to put into the basket as it passed by.  He usually remembers these little thoughtful things but last night just seeing their names in print evoked feelings of loss that I hadn't really considered in a while.

I just wondered and imagined what our current situation with my son would be like if those anchors of the family were still with us.  But, really they HAVE been.  You see I believe in the communion of saints.  And, what a marvelous gift that is.  I believe that I can pray to Venerable Matt Talbot or my mother to extend prayers for my son any minute of the day or night and we all work together as a family in the mystical body of Christ.

This weekend we will not go to visit my son because it is awfully far away.  Oddly enough, I learned that parents weekend (family counseling) is the weekend that we are to move.  And, we will be there. We will just move before and after that time.  I feel like he needs this time alone with himself to begin to sort, process and hopefully heal. 

This is when I will need to have faith.  We've reached the big pinnacle of going to recovery.  It is a big step indeed for him to want/need to go.  But, now, it's up to him the addict and thus far that track record is not so good.   I am afraid.  But, my hands are off.  Instead, they will be folded in prayer.  So, I'm taking advantage of the gift of communion that the church gives me.  You see I am adding strength to my prayers.  What a beautiful gift.
Today, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for all of the marvelous examples of christian living that the church helps us to recognize.  I pray for all of the souls in purgatory.  I pray for our addicted loved ones and I say a prayer for Henry.


Have Myelin? said...

Hattie, sometimes I struggle with faith. Like you, I have lost so a very short time. My Dad and grandmother died in front of my daughter (how is that possible) and then she died (how is THAT possible) and prior to that, my favorite Uncle, two Aunts and a baby died. I can't mourn them though, no room in my heart yet...still trying to get through my daughter's death.

I admire those who do not struggle. Every day is a struggle for me because my faith has been tested.

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

Have Myelin,

I, too, sometimes struggle with my faith. I think that is perfectly normal. I cannot imagine the loss of a child. I think that would be the ultimate test of faith. When my mother died, I had not yet converted to Catholicism. I was a southern Baptist growing up, coming from the south. and that belief says that when you die it is already decided: you go to heaven or hell, end of story. So, when my mother died I instantly, organically started to pray for her soul. This is something that the catholic shurch encourages. It was so natural for me. It helps me to still feel connected....long distance....until we are together again. For me this is hopeful. Hang in there. I would never pretend to understand the depth of your grief. I can only tell you of my experience in the hopes that maybe you will be able to glean anything at all that can help you in your journey. Saying a prayer.

Annette said...

Hattie, thank you for your kind comments on my blog lately. I have the book The Lost Years. I learned a lot from reading how the mom handled her daughter's addictions.
I am afraid too right now. We will pray together for each other and our precious kids.

beachteacher said...

Hattie, the past year, we lost my mom,..which is so very deep for me,..& one of the very best people I've ever known, my precious father in law. Both passed in front of me. I ask them to pray for our son & his recovery, for he was close to them both & loved by them so much.

I keep YOUR son in my prayers ,..for his recovery,...& I know that you KNOW that prayers are powerful. I enjoy reading all that you write,but am sorry for your struggles on the journey you're on as a parent. God bless you & your son.

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

Thanks guys...I have a little list of names that I go thru each time I pray.