Tuesday, September 20, 2011

In Search of Me Day One

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. ~Alan Alda

Things are changing.  My life is in a bit of limbo.  My son is working and my girls have gone to college.  I no longer work for my husband.  My son is the only one living at home but his work takes him away most of the time.  This is good because it  stops me  helps me not to  get into his business. 

In an effort to get to know just who my 47 year old self is, I try to remain faithful to my AlAnon meetings.  Yesterday, our topic was detachment....always a good one.  Detaching is where I have to try to figure out what is mine and what belongs to the person(s) I am detaching from. 

My fearless leader had a really good rule of thumb.  I liked it so much, I wrote it down.  "When you don't know whose responsibility it is, do nothing", she said.  I have to say that some of the things that I held onto for dear life in my effort to control or fix things, I now enjoy letting go of.  I've started to appreciate giving up the tasks that made my head spin.

When we discuss detaching, we learn a lot of "what not to do's".  But, now what do I do since my life has taken such a radical turn?  Al Anon tells us to take care of ourselves.  We do this by getting to know who we are so that we CAN take care of ourselves. 

But, how do we even start?  My fearless leader had a great thought which she said helped her always.  "If I do any one thing, it gives God the opportunity to do something within me."  Being the big fan of baby steps, I decided that perhaps I could include just one thing extra in my day to allow God the opportunity to show me who I am and perhaps where I needed to go.

I poured over all my books, looking for inspiration when I discovered a little book I have called Love Without Measure.  It's one of those 30 day reflections on the spiritual service of Mother Teresa.  She is my favorite!!  I hope you enjoy this 30 day journey with me.

Day One

"The world today is hungry, not only for bread but hungry for love, hungry to be wanted and loved.

There is nothing new about the invisibility of those who have nothing and the blindness of those who have something, who have everything.  There is nothing new about a prayer of the poor(to me this may also mean the poor in spirit...like our addicted sons and daughters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers) 

Look at me.
There are millions of us.
But each of us has a name.
See me. 
Know that I exist.
Know that what you feel, I feel. 
Know that I hunger for bread,
but not just for bread.

Know that I am hungry to be wanted,
hungry to be loved.  Know that I am.

For today, my prayer is one of thanksgiving for the opportunity to get to know who I am, today.  I am thankful for my group and fellow bloggers who always have great experiences to share.  I pray that God helps me to increase my love by allowing me to give it away to those most in need.  I pray for all of our addicted loved ones and I say a prayer for the soul of Henry.

1 comment:

Lou said...

"One extra thing" is a great idea. And really, how long does it take to read the devotional..yet, those few minutes can change how you go out into the world every day.

I have to remember to keep my 10 minutes of prayer and devotion at the top of my list every day. Some days I try to convince myself I don't have 10 minutes to spare!!