Friday, September 30, 2011

Finding Me Day 9

"Forty is the old age of youth;  fifty is the youth of old age."  Victor Hugo

I am learning more and more about my age.  At 47 yrs old, some things really surprise me when they don't work.  In my mind's eye, I am still a young person.  Yesterday I cleaned like a mad woman.  I washed windows, laundry, walls and doors.  I spent 2 hours cleaning my son's bathroom.  While I considered the need  for antibiotics after that task, it felt great to get it done.  Today I was going to finish up downstairs with my big deep clean.

While in my cleaning frenzy, I said to hubby," order pizza, I'm not cooking, I'm gonna get this done."  So he did and we had pizza and salad.  It all seemed like such a good plan at the time but at about 1:00am, I found that it wasn't.  You see fats of any sort don't agree with my lack of gall bladder (it is fair to say that they didn't agree with my diseased gall bladder either). 

So today, I've shuffled around feeling older and slower and it has been a bit challenging for me to accept that which I cannot control.  Funny that one....just keeps rearing it's ugly head at me.  I'm trying to be grateful.  I should be grateful.  I am just grouchy...frustrated and all around cranky. I feel cranky over a host of things I can't control.  This desire to curl up in a ball on the sofa and feel sorry for myself isn't something I'm particularly proud of but there it is. 

I've got so much to be thankful for.  I know this.  So today I will say the serenity prayer like a mantra.  I will try to busy myself with other things and I will pray for all of you and your spouses, children and friends.  And, I'll throw in a prayer for Henry.

1 comment:

Lou said...

47?! That's not old. I could tell you a thing or two, you young whippersnapper..LOL

Wait till you pass 50. But really, I feel great, and I AM grateful.