Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Random Shuffle

My sisters are eight and ten years older than me.  They were walking past the yard ( the home is no longer there) where we grew up.  My older sister Mamie said to my younger sister Macy ( names have been changed) that our mother used to carry me outside to one of them who would sit on the porch swing and swing me to sleep for my nap. 

I had forgotten that.  But, I found it quite interesting.  To this day, I need to be outdoors.  If I sit on my porch in the evenings and first thing in the morning ( my usual) then I sleep peacefully and soundly, if I don't, then sleep is restless.   

When she reminded me of those stories, it all made sense.  It seems important somehow.  It's a conformation of who I really am and where I came from. 

The Son is on his own again.  We've entrusted him to God....again.  I keep reminding myself that he is exactly where God wants him.  I am at peace today.

I love to play Solitaire.  I play and play.  Sometimes winning.  Sometimes losing.  But, I keep shuffling and trying again.  It occurred to me that as simple as that sounds, that is what we are doing as his parents.  We just keep shuffling.  We don't give up.  And, I think that if I stop looking at all of the variables of this disease and simply rely on God instead of looking at each thing as an indicator of good or bad, I will find peace. 

Prayers for each of you. 

1 comment:

Annette said...

Yes! Stop looking at each thing as an indicator of good or bad.....I love that. I feel like something is changing in me this time too. Not hardening and getting more angry....something is letting go, for real this time! LOL Who does that sound like.....but seriously...I feel something happening inside myself. You inspire me to be brave my friend. <3