What Is....

As the parents of an alcoholic and addict, we have found ourselves back at the place of letting go.

We have had suspicions.  We have worried.  We have tried our best at loving it out of him. 

We have examined ourselves to discover that it was our guilt and shame over doing so many wrong things that caused us to try to fix it/him.  It was for our benefit of feeling better about ourselves and not his benefit.  We didn't trust that God would do it our way.  We didn't trust that God knew better.  We didn't accept that God loves him most....no matter the outcome.

But, now we find ourselves in the quiet of acceptance.  He is not doing well.  We cannot change it.  Only our higher power can. And, we are finally....finally willing to quietly whisper, " Please Lord, heal our son.  We will get out of your way."

There are times of panic and fear that wash in and paralyze us.  There are times of humble hope of healing.  It really can go either way.  But, regardless:  1.  I am powerless over the health and sobriety of my son.  2.  God can restore me to sanity.  3.  I will let Him.

That's where we are today.  Trying to return to prayer ....with every decision...every day....