Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Weary

I'm extremely weary.  Early sobriety is very difficult to live with.  The behavior is off.  The emotions are up and down.  I swing between worry and fear and empathy and regret.  I can't decide when to love unconditionally or when to draw the stiff line in the sand. 

My husband says that I just need to drug test and love him.  Either way.  I guess he is right.  My son is trying and I know that.  It's just that he has so much lost.  He has a battle which has started from behind. 

Today I pray for perseverance.  I pray for guidance.  I pray for blinders.  And, I pray for the soul of Henry.

5 comments:

Joy said...

I'll be praying for your son. And for you. He's on the right track.

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

thank you...a prayer for your son as well

Dad and Mom said...

Early sobriety is really tough on parents. Myself, i didn't do the drug testing. We could pretty much tell if he was high anyway. After about a year I wrote about what I learned in dealing with my son's sobriety. Here is a link if you are interested. All I know is it is as hard for us as it is him. They really do have a big hole to get out of but remember it is his hole. He can make it if he wants.

http://parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com/2011/11/parents-and-recovery.html

Annette said...

You are not alone. I needed to read this today. I am praying too. :o)

luluberoo said...

"Praying for blinders"...funny, but not funny. I get it.

Thinking of you, and knowing you are doing your level best.