The house is STILL for sale, but, we've been showing it quite a bit. The son who had been laid off got a job which starts Monday. The girls are quite burned out with summer and are ready for a schedule. We are leaving for Cincinnati on Tuesday to see my best friend's son take his first vows as a Dominican priest on Wednesday. Life seems to crawl but when I sit down to think about it all, I realize how quickly things are really moving.
If I were going back to school and asked to write an essay on what I did on my summer vacation, this is what I'd write:
Summer break was a time that felt more like summer school. Our family is beginning to learn some very important lessons about BEING a family. We have refused to let addiction take over any time that we have to be a family. We have started trying to practice unconditional love to each member. By practice, I mean that we are trying to give time to other members and we try very hard to help them feel and know that they are loved.
We have not done this all with ease or seamlessly; we have painfully, with frustration and trial and error and error and error worked things out. And, while at times it feels like frustration is at every turn, when we slow down and look back, we do see that progress has been made.
One of our biggest lessons is the "what is" lesson. For those working a program, "what is" is the very beginning....acceptance of what is and choosing to live with it ......or not. Another biggee is trying very hard to look beyond self to try to see and understand another. This is not an easy step but the rewards are mighty cool indeed.
We are trying very hard to stop defending self in order to look out for other family members. This is such an unnatural thing to do. It requires a lot of trust and trust is sometimes hard to come by in a house where addiction once lived.
The rewards? Oh my, my....watching daughter go from tears because she thought we were fussing at her to soaking up the words that we were just disappointed that she wasn't staying because we miss her and want to be around her. And, she stayed....we all sat together until bedtime...like .....dare I say a normal family?
We are making plans for holidays. We are so thrilled to go and share this lovely celebration with my friend's son. We are acting like a ......fam....i.....ly!!!!!! And, that is what I did on my summer vacation.
Today, I am thankful for my family and the progress that we've made. I am thankful for my son's new job, the service of my best friends son, the showing of our house, the progress of our girls. I am thankful that my son is going to meetings and to church. I pray for his continued strength and growth. I say a prayer for my son and yours (or daughter or spouse or sister or brother) and I say a prayer for Henry.