Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Saying it Out Loud....

Most every day, I read a daily reading from the series In Conversation With God by Francis Fernandez.  I love those readings so much.  They help me to better understand the day's liturgy.  The author refers to a lot of quotes by St. Josemaria Escriva.  So, I decided to start reading some of his writings.  My best friend is "in the know" about most all things Catholic and of all books Catholic.   She hooked me up with a lot of his books and told me that he was kind of tough!  His writings are a collection of sacred scripture blended with personal reflections from his life and experiences of others.  His most famous book, The Way, is divided into chapters on topics such as charity, interior struggle, the will of God, etc.  Then under each chapter you will find numbered snippets of practical advice.

I'll just call my friend Sue.  Sue says each snippet should be followed by the phrase, "you slacker" or some other such fitting phrase.  For example,  on the topic of character:  "Maturity.  Stop making faces and acting up like a child!  Your bearing ought to reflect the peace and order in your soul. "   You can see how fitting it would be  if you were to end that snippet with "you slacker"  Josemaria does not mince words.  I think I would have really gotten along with him quite well.  My Dad was one for brutal honesty.  Sometimes when I was young and I would go around with him to his rental properties, I would just cringe with his straight forward manner.  Today, at 48 years old, I see myself more and more like him and it happened before I knew it.

Lately, I've questioned why I am considered the bad guy for telling the truth.  I've questioned the way in which I deliver the truth and I know that sometimes I'm a little blunt.  But, other times I feel as though the truth is the truth and there is no way to make it pretty if it is not what someone wants to hear.

"You never want "to get to the bottom of things." At times because of politeness.  Other times because you fear hurting yourself.  Sometimes again, because you fear hurting others.  But always because of fear!  With that fear of digging for the truth you"ll never be a man of good judgement." St. Josemaria Escriva.

We are taught to tell the truth...sort of...but many times we are rewarded for dancing around it.  My son's addiction made this quote a reality for me...

"Don't be afraid of the truth, even the though truth many mean your death."

Saying the "A" word out loud did not make it real.  It made me face it, accept it, and deal with it.  Failure to acknowledge does not control anything......nope it allows for things to continue to be out of control.  So, I'll continue to edit my words so that I do not make personal comments but I think I want to continue to be like my Dad.

Today, I am thankful for the courage to finally confront the truth.  I am thankful for those tough saints like Josemaria Escriva and Mother Teresa (Blessed) and I am thankful for a Dad who modeled the hard stuff for his kids.  I pray my son to learn to be courageous enough to accept the truth of his life long condition and to continue to fight.  I pray for all of your sons and daughters, husbands and wives and any loved one facing the demons of addiction.  And, as always, a prayer for the soul of my grandfather, Henry.


beachteacher said...

yes....I agree,even though I'm someone much like you, with the truth & am at times,blunt,..the truth is so hard for our beloved addicts, but it's also hard for us about them. So many we know and even those that love us, just don't understand addiction the way we have come to understand it. For me, that makes the truth even harder. 104

luluberoo said...

For me, treading the line between truth and brutal (hurtful) honesty is a challenge. I ran rampant over others feelings for a long time thinking they needed to hear MY truth. I've toned it down with coworkers, friends, and relatives.

But in the family we tell it like it is--and immediately. We lived with the elephant in the room for such a long time, and it was so toxic that we don't use euphemisms for heroin anymore. I also don't "wonder" if my son is high. I keep a drug test on hand all the time. We test randomly for any reason or no reason. If the test is positive he has 5 minutes to get out. We only had to do that once--now he believes us.