Broken.....

I am about to hit the one year anniversary since my son went to rehab.  And, while things aren't perfect, they are wildly different.  He holds a good job and is in the apprenticeship program.  He wakes up at 3:30 am each morning by himself and gets ready for work.  He has purchased his own car and insurance.  Last year, I could not imagine anything like this ever happening.  But, it did.

Addiction is a by product of a person's inability to deal with life.  We all choose coping mechanisms.  Some, who are healthy, take things to God.  Others will eat or drink or choose a host of other "things " to lean on. 

I've spent the better part of a year trying to look at what led to choosing this dangerous path.  I think it has to do with brokenness.  We are all broken in one way or another. If our loved one is broken, the best gift that we can give them is to deal with our own brokenness.  Healing ourselves has a ripple affect.  This is taught in our twelve step program.

But, it's not an easy task to confront the problems which may go back generations.  Frailties of the past are written on the fibers of our being.  It is difficult to question and to try and change something so familiar.  But, living honestly demands the courage to confront.  The twelve step program teaches us to take care of ourselves.....we can model to our family healthy ways of living and being. 

This journey is not for the faint of heart.  It takes a lot of courage to do the right thing.  It takes the courage to get out of our comfort zone.  It takes courage to look our demons in the eye.  But, in dealing with addiction, I've already looked the devil in the eye.  I won't give up the fight....we've come too far.  So even if I've grown weary from this fight, I've got to keep peeling back the layers.  My son is working hard.  I owe it to him to learn to live in a healthy positive fashion.  I owe it to myself and to the rest of my family.

Today, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for this awesome progress.  I am thankful for this insight and the courage to continue the fight.  I pray for so many blog friends to look inward and heal themselves so that they may find the faith of a mustard seed to allow God to heal their loved ones.  I pray for my son and my family to have the courage to keep peeling back those unhealthy layers to find the beauty of who God created them to be.  And,as always a prayer for the soul of Henry.