Tuesday, March 18, 2014

It is What it Is.

  The Son is not in recovery.  There it is.  While I am mainly trying to focus on my journey, I  need to be sure that this blog is truthful.  I don't know if he is abusing drugs but I do know that he is abusing alcohol.  I do know that he is not working on sobriety or going to meetings.  I do know that he refuses to see the need for them.  And, I do know that there isn't spit that I can do about it.

I also know that he began to fill in when his dad needed help at work and now he is there everyday.  It worries me.  He says that he is trying to get another job.  He is trying to get back into the apprenticeship program that he was in before he went to rehab last year.  But, whether or not this will actually occur is anybody's guess. 

The Dad worries enough for the both of us.  His anxiety is crippling.  I wish that he would get help for it.  But, there is spit that I can do about that. 

So, for the past couple of days, I have done what all southern gals do in similar situations....I've taken to my bed or sofa.  But, I'm a southern gal on Al Anon, so I have done some prayer and meditation and decided on some new boundaries and tomorrow I hope to emerge again. 

Tonight, I am chairing our meeting and going to pick up one of my graduates from the Homeward Bound program and drop her at an AA meeting next to my Al Anon meeting.  Perhaps that will perk me up.  Trying to take care, hoping you are too and praying.


1 comment:

Annette said...

I thought you were going to say, "I'm doing what all Southern girls do and I am eating my way through this." That is what I battle with! lol
I relate to every word you wrote here! Even down to the dad's anxiety and your son working with him. My husband has some IT certification books and he said after this last relapse, "I want her to read these and study." In his mind, it was something. Something to distract her, something that might hopefully get her going in a direction. But it is so putting the cart before the horse! There is no foundation to build anything on yet. Anyway....I am right there with you. Taking to the couch sounds pretty good some days, this I know. I think that is part of the reason I have worked so much....I was afraid to slow down. If I stopped or slowed down, I might never start again.