Friday, October 19, 2012

The Process

Relapse is a part of this process.  It is a part that hurts.  I feel like I did after my first c section and soon to have my second one.  The feelings of dread and the fatigue of the pain return to me in memorable waves.  Today I sit here and write the words quickly for fear that if I wait, I will lose the courage to write them.  I want to be honest.  Honesty is my defense against the devil. Honesty and prayer.

I'm waiting on a call from a rehab facility because they are checking my insurance benefits.  I wait in numbed prayerful silence.  I've begun a novena to St. Jude today.  How ironic that it began today.  Our Lord is compassionate.

Today I am thankful for a loving God.  I am thankful for paid insurance.  I am thankful for good friends.  I pray for healing and recovery for my son.  I say a prayer for all of your children and I ask a prayer for the soul of Henry.

5 comments:

a.wildflower said...

Just wanted to let you know that you've been on my mind and in my prayers lately. You're not alone.

..wildflower

beachteacher said...

oh Hattie...I'm also starting a St Jude novena tomorrow...I understand

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

Thanks guys heading to detox in a few minuttes. Then with great hope a 30- 90 day program.

Anonymous said...

i'm so sorry to read this....so sorry....numbing, that dreaded feeling; it truly is the worst feelings.....i'm so so sorry....you and your family are in my prayers...if possible could you keep us posted?

Terri said...

Saying a prayer right now!