Saturday, January 1, 2011

My New Years Bucket List

Talk to any 4 or 5 year old and it will certainly brighten your day.  Ask them about their dreams.  Listen carefully....because you won't hear limitations.  You won't get a lot of editing.  You'll just see honest, blind faith.  You'll get wild abandonment.  There is an excitement instead of a fear of what can go wrong.  As we get older, and we've had something not work out or we feel like we've failed at something, we loose faith.  We start to doubt our gifts, dreams and desires.  If you look at the really successful people, the common denominator is the perseverance.  They simply don't look at a "no" as the fact that their gifts aren't for real.  They just keep trying and realize that the "no" just means that either it isn't time or it isn't the venue for that dream to become reality.  But, they do not doubt God's gifts.

It is really rare when you see someone who has complete faith in their gifts and abilities.  Most of us are insecure.  We start looking at all of the things that could go wrong.  We start loosing excitement.  We start to become weary.  We stop loosing curiosity.  We start just living the day in, day out, tasks of our lives, instead of working towards living our best life experiences. 

This journey that I am on, is the result of one of the most frightening things that a parent can face.  My son's addiction did some really wonderful things in my life.  I now center my life around God.  I always thought that I did, but now I really give him everything.  I consult him about everything.  I try harder not to do things that will come between us.  Because, with God ever present in my day, it is a joyful one.  He gives me back that childlike curiosity and excitement.  He gives me back that desire to do things that I used to say I'd do.  Some of the things aren't monumental life some just look like fun.  Some are just an experience that I want to be able to put in my pocket. 

So, this year, I'm choosing a bucket list over New Years resolutions.  That may sound morbid, but it isn't.  It's just a goal.  If I don't write it down, I won't actively try to make it happen.  I want to do things that are pulling at curiosity, before I die.  I want to live, richly live with experiences that are open to us if only we are open to them. 

I'm gonna give you a sampling of my list.  I want my list to contain 100 items and when I finish those, I'll start a new one.  I hope you will consider ways to live fuller as well.  Enjoy what God has out there for us.  Thank him for the desire.  Thank him when you experience.  Share it with others.  This year, I realized one of my dreams.  As a native Kentuckian, I had never gone to Churchill Downs during a race.  This year, I attended the Breeder's cup at Churchill Downs and saw the amazing horse Zenyatta come in second during her final race, her only loss.  But, it was thrilling.  So on to more ideas....

I want to become a writer and be published.  I want to climb a really big hill and take photos from the top.  I want to ride a horse on the beach.  I want to visit Italy and eat my way through the country, learn to surf, learn to ballroom dance, have a back porch and eat breakfast there, tour Napa valley, start taking more picnics, find a great tree to lie under, on a beautiful old quilt and read, own a convertible and drive from one end of the Pacific Coast Highway to the other, drive across country, find out more about my family tree, visit my relatives more, experience at least one gee whiz, wow miracle, raise a ton of money for a great cause, learn Spanish.............

Today, I pray for all of you...that you may continue to dream and hope and never give up.  I pray that my son learns to dream.  I pray for his ability to fight this addiction.  I am thankful for the excitement that I have, that is a gift from God and I pray for the soul of Henry.  In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.


Sonja said...

You put your finger right on a tender spirit-place for me with this one. I am feeling chastened, but not in a bad way. I will not give up.

Mom of an Addict said...

Good for you. Just finished reading the Alchemist and my favorite quote is, " Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and eternity."