Today is the first day of ordinary time. To me, this is similar to returning home from vacation and getting back on schedule. I get excited about vacation, and love it while I"m there but after a while, without regular routine, I get a little out of sorts. I need a routine and a schedule. So today marks the first day of the first of twelve weeks before Lent begins.
The sun rises and sets. The seasons come and go. As a new catholic (relatively speaking) following the church's calendar just sort of ties things all together, helping me to feel God in the everyday. I just love that. I have this set of books called In Conversation With God by Francis Fernandez. He is a priest of the Opus Dei Prelature and has a doctorate in Canon law from the Angelicum in Rome. There are books for each season of the church and extra ones for feast days. They are daily meditations, that for me, help me to get over myself and to focus on my daily duties according to God. These little books have helped me to realize that I need different order in my life. They help me to see the importance in the mundane and the triviality of what I might think important.
My son is working. He sounds really clear when I talk to him. But, I think he's a little angry at us still for cutting him off. I don't mean financially. I mean our relationship. I think that this is probably something he will need to process. I think this is part of his healing. I think that I must still be patient. I am starting to realize just how important the cycles of each day and season and year and lifetime are. I feel like I am learning that just as the attention or lack of attention were paid to God's priority list before we learned of my son's addiction, that same attention today can help to heal and build up what was previously broken or disordered.
I love the outdoors. It is where I am most at peace and feel closer to God. I think I got this from my Dad. Maybe it is from my Indian heritage. I don't know. I do know that God is everywhere and in everything. I know that every person that I encounter today is his creation. I must remember that the actions I take with even his most irritating creation, is far more important than reading my e-mails, doing my laundry or doing reports at work. Those things can be important too, but not at the expense of failing to show God to others through your daily actions.
These daily meditations remind me in this first day of ordinary time of the importance of my day being one of prayer. Each load of laundry, each errand I run each action I take should be done in light of what Jesus would have done. I think I needed that reminder.
I can't control my son. I can't control whether or not he heals from his addiction. I can only control my actions. This is where God wants us to focus. This is where I will heal enough to deal with either outcome. I think my son is better, but who knows. I must not hinge my every action on that. I must be the person that God intends for ME to be. I think he intends for me to trust him with the care of my son, no matter what.
Today, I begin this day and season and year with a prayer that I am able to do God's will for me each minute of each day. I pray for the strength to give my son's care to God. I pray for an increase in faith. I pray for each of you to be able to do the same in your individual situations. I pray for healing for my son and as always, I pray for Henry.