Friday, August 30, 2013

The Judgement Seat

The Dad and I went to California on vacation.  There is nothing like the beach and poor cell signals to help you unplug and finally relax.  We had a much needed time to reconnect. 
     Our flight is close to four hours long and we always end up chatting with the passenger who occupies the third seat in our row, after all they practically sit in your lap for that length of time.  This time was no exception.  AL Anon and this addiction journey have really made me introspective.  I hear things differently now.
     The man who sat with us wore Levis, a crisp shirt and bow tie and a navy blazer.  He wore tortoise shell glasses which seemed to be a natural extension of his graying hair.  I asked about his trip and his job.  He did the same.  Those conversations naturally led to our families.  And some how, it always seems to end up with a discussion about addiction.
     Mr. Bow Tie was a Yale philosophy graduate.  And so when he said that his son was not really motivated in school but that he didn't do drugs or anything like that.....I knew that I would tell my story.  That might seem counter intuitive to some but for me, it was important to be nakedly honest.  I hate the stigma of addiction and so I'm not going to cower in it's presence.  Maybe that's wrong.  I don't know.
     Our talks continued.  His dad was a raging alcoholic.  There were definitely some scars there.  He also had a wife back home and a daughter who was a freshman in college.  He was meeting a college friend before his business meeting. 
     We talked a lot about addiction.  It seemed to interest him.  But when we got off the plane, he was arm in arm with the college a romantic embrace.  I was instantly irritated.  Who is he to turn his nose up at someone who suffers from addiction?  And then I realized, who am I to turn my nose up at his issues?  I am the pot......
     Sometimes I am a slow learner.  I think we are all a mess.  We just have to have to courage to look within, the courage to accept it and the courage to change.  Not such an easy task.  But, I'll keep trying.
In prayer for all of you and for our addicted loved ones.  And, most especially for Michael's family who lost him this week.


beachteacher said...

Oh Hattie -- don't our experiences with addiction follow us everywhere ? I met an Australian woman on a flight from Brisbane to Sydney this past summer --and of course,...our conversation ended up turning to addiction. Her daughter's boyfriend who lives with her, her husband, & her daughter -- is obviously an addict --she & I are still emailing --- with the beginning,...,me telling her about drug testing --- the symptomatic behaviors,..the lying ,..etc.,.etc,....

Hattie Heaton said...

Yes we do. If only we had known how our hurts can really connect us and heal us.