Monday, February 4, 2013

Holy Thursday

Recently, hubby and I were concerned that a person that we knew might be struggling with addiction.  Even though this was not our son or even a relative, those old fearful, wet blanket of heavy hearted feelings appeared.  Addiction is such an evil and pervasive disease.  I found myself going back to the cycle of fearful paralysis to anger and finally to acceptance if this is God's will for me to walk along this path again.   Even though it is not my own journey and is less personal, it is a reminder of where I've been, what we can return to and how far reaching this disease really is.

It took me a really long time to accept the crosses that were mine to carry.  Somehow, I felt if I carried those, then I should be done.  Mission accomplished.  Right? 

I mentioned earlier that I had gone on a silent 2 day retreat based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius.  One of the things that we discussed was that we are all on our very own Paschal path. At any given moment, we can look at our lives and venture a guess at where we are on our paschal path.

 Last Friday, I was having a holy Thursday.  And Holy Thursdays and Good Fridays are very much a part of our lives as Christians.   The good news is that while we are living through  those kinds of days, there is the hope of Easter ahead. 

If you've done the stations of the cross recently, you will remember that three of the fourteen are the same.  They are when Jesus would fall under the weight of His cross.  Certainly these stations are wonderful reminders to us that even Jesus fell under their weight.  More importantly, he got right back up again.  There was help along his way.  Veronica, in her simple gesture of wiping the brow of Jesus showed us how we can be of service to others along the path.  Simon agreed to share it's weight.

Today is not my time of walking the path.  But, it is a time to step forward and lend a hand or a prayer.  It is time to remember kinship.  It is a time to know that we do to Jesus what we are doing to those whose path is in the dark places right now. 

I have certainly met my fair share of Veronica's and Simon's.  I am blessed.  My son is nothing short of a miracle right today is all that I have.  He could be right back in Holy Thursday again in a heartbeat.  I know that.  The one thing that is for sure is that  this disease has taught me to appreciate the good days. 

Maybe I am just about to enter an empty tomb.  Maybe.  Son maybe entering the church this Easter.  He is working one on one with the Bishop another priest and one seminarian.  He went to mass today.  He is working again.  He only asks for books and prayers.  He is grateful.  And, so am I.

Today I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the bounty that is mine.  I pray for those just beginning this fearful journey.  I pray that you will have the fortitude and strength needed to fight for your self or your child or both.    I pray that you will be able to receive the help of those who offer to bear the weight or wipe your brow.  And, as always, I say a prayer for the soul of Henry.


Anonymous said...

The rosary is my salvation. I am an emtional reck, by the time I finish it.

Anonymous said...

I meant wreak....not reck.

Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

I love it too