Wednesday, November 16, 2011

History Revisited

I am turning into my mother.  All through my life, I've gone to the doctor and filled out those medical history forms and been checked for all sorts of problems common to my family history.  Just like an addict who feels invincible, I too feel like yes,  maybe later in life I would experience some common health problems that other family members have had, but for now, I can do what I want.

But, here I am at 47 years old, diabetes, high blood pressure and rapid heart rate and my  gall bladder came out this summer. It feels a little like those awkward teenage years where your body starts making these crazy changes taking you into adulthood, out of your control and a little scary.  I know I have control over diet and exercise but not my genetic makeup. 

I guess I got a wake up call.  Maybe this is my personal bottom.  Maybe this will be the time that I take my health seriously.  Maybe not.  Maybe it will take something more serious.  I can relate to the addict in many ways. 

What I do know is that food is my drug of choice.  I do know that when I don't have time to stay connected spiritually, I slip.  I do know that when I try to do things on my own, I slip.  I do know that when life gets so busy and harried and I stop listening to the warning signals that my body gives, I not only slip but trip and tumble, head over heels to the bottom.

My mom died from the complications of diabetes.  She was on dialysis.  We were told how much better she'd feel when she went on dialysis and she did for a week or two but after that it was all down hill.  She died after 8 months.  Dialysis is life support.  But, not much living went on while she was on it.  I don't know that I'd ever choose dialysis.  But, here I am a little scared because high blood pressure and rapid heart rate damage your eyes and your kidneys. 

Will I ever learn?  Will our addicts ever learn?  I guess the common denominator here is the fact that both me and the addict don't deal with our problems.  We just cover them up for the short term instead of dealing with a long term solution.  Knowledge doesn't equal acceptance or the courage or due diligence to use the information. 

Today I pray for the strength to do what I need to do.  I pray for Lou and Andrew and the Dad.  I pray for my son and all of your sons and daughters.  I am thankful for your knowledge and wisdom that I count on reading daily.  And I say a prayer for Henry.


Lou said...

Well, we haven't heard from Andrew, so your prayers are most welcome.


Hattie Heaton (Mom of an Addict) said...

I'll keep takes a village, Lou.